Early morning

It's 4;25 AM and I am wide awake. The birds are trying to wake everyone else too but around this house it's just me. All around this house people are exhausted from worrying and serving me and Roma. The birds are glorious. It's been like this since I've been home from the hospital. I go to bed and sleep for maybe two or three hours. Then when I awaken for various things, I can't go back to sleep. I lay there in bed trying not to disturb Roma (who is an angel meeting my every wish and need) and think and think. I have not solved any problems such as the state of politics and the economy, but I have straightened out myself to some small extent. I have learned several small lessons. I might share them with you from time to time. I hope I don't come off more righteous than you. I'm not. It is just that I have been learning a few lessons.

For instance last night I caught the thought that I might just have the excuse to be a little bitter. I let a storm of indignation enter my body. It did't feel good. Satan's thoughts never do. I next caught the thought that that has buoyed me up from the beginning of this journey. That is one word; PEACE. In my first prayer offered in response to this challenge I had the overwhelming feeling that I would be all right; that God has a plan for me. It brought peace to my soul. Now I don't think that means that I have have given up. I will fight this to the end. What this does mean is I will accept God's plan for me; no matter what. I have given a lot of thought to Jobs words in Job 19: " 25 For I ^aknow that my ^bredeemer liveth, and that ^che shall ^dstand at the latter day upon the earth:

26 And though after my skin worms destroy this ^abody, yet in my ^bflesh shall I ^csee God:

27 Whom I shall see for myself, and mine eyes shall behold." I believe that. I know that. You and I will stand at the latter day and bow in reverence before the savior and redeemer. He has conquered all.

The birds are singing. They are God's birds.

Brain Tumor

Thursday May 27, I was as work at RC Willey. I felt a little confused. I had a hard time speaking the words I wanted to say. I gave up and went home early. I chalked it all up to a bad cold. I took drugs. It was a little better Friday and Saturday. Then Sunday I had to give a talk at Church Sunday. I struggled again finding the words I wanted to say. I went to work Monday and had a pretty good day. Tuesday I had a horrible day, and I decided to go to the doctor Wednesday morning. He immediately scheduled me for an MRI. I had one an hour later and less than a half an hour after the MRI I had an appointment with Dr.Paul Gardner, a neurologist. He met with Roma and I late Wed. night and told me that I had a mass on the left hand side of my brain. I had three scenarios all of which involved removing the mass. He hoped it would be an abcess caused by bactiera. I had had a lousy cold, and combined with some dental work I had had previously it seemed logical. The other two scenerios involved tumors; a much worse scenario.

That day is almost a dream. Roma and I knelt down for prayer immediately when we found out about the mass. I had an overwhelming feeling of calm come over me that has existed to the present time.

It turns out that I did have a tumor, that has now been removed. I will be undergoing radiology and chemo therapy beginning this week. The prognosis isn't good, but I do still feel the same calmness. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me whatever may come.

The good news it that I am feeling better every day. The priesthood blessing that two of my sons and father-in-law gave me has been fulfilled. The tumor affects my speech patterns. I have to concentrate on how every word sounds.

I experienced moments of revelation. I think of a grandson struggling to learn words. I now have more empathy for him. My granddaughter is developmentally delayed. I am 60 years developmentally delayed!! My speech is hampered, but my spiritual senses have been enhanced. I have been able to express to my wife and my children feelings I have long withheld.

I have cried buckets of tears, not for sorrow, but for love. I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that the Lord loves me and he has a plan for us. It is an eternal plan. We may not know every turn and stumble in the road, but as we struggle to remain faithful we will be blessed!! Eternally!!

I know that Jesus Christ suffered not only for the sins of the world, but that he suffered my pains and anguish too. I feel wrapped up in the arms of His love. I feel all wrapped up in the love of my friends, ward members, hospital staff, brothers, sisters, long lost cousins and anyone else who has gone out of their way to bless the life of the Paul Peterson family.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!

Mother's Day

Owen loves his Grandma.

Reading is Fun-damental

Keep me warm Grandma

Hot Grandma and loving Grandpa

Today is Mother's day and I am married to the greatest Mother of all time. She is my perfect soul mate. I can't think of anyone who is more devoted to her family than Roma.

Our Father in Heaven has a plan and that is for all of us to return to his presence. We can't fully do that without our eternal partners. I am so grateful that I have Roma to be my companion (and leader at times) as we work towards that goal. I am also grateful for other mothers in my life. I have two wonderful daughters and three daughters-in-law who are terrific mothers. I also have a wonderful mother-in-law and my own mother was a jewel. I couldn't be a luckier man.

Fun pics from Emily's visit

Owen loves his mommy
Not much cooperation here, but it was fun. I think the boys are thinking "Are You Kidding?, but Ella loved every minute.

Miles and Isaac were pretty studious. They loved playing missionary.
Missionaries knocking at the door Happy loving kids.

Ella is quite the poser.

Queen of the stump. It was sure fun having Pyper here to play with the boys and Ella.

Emily and Miles on the wiggle car.

Amy on Mom's cruiser.

The tandem made a big hit with the girls

We had Emily, Isaac, Miles, and Ella here for ten days. I was pretty sure that Ella would really like her grandpa and I was right. She swept me right off my feet, just like all the rest of my grandkids. Grandkids are the best gift any grandparent could ever want, especially when they come from such good kids. I am pretty darn proud of my family. I may not have lots of earthly possessions, but I have great kids and grandkids.
There are lots of important things in life, but the most important eternal possession we have is family. Of that I am pretty certain.

Easter Pictures

It doesn't look like spring, but it soon will be!

Notice the moss already groing in the stream.

There is green sprouts under the snow!

Spring is coming! I know it! The weather just isn't cooperating, but it will come. I put my trainer away, so it has to be nice to ride outside. I am getting fat. Mom and I have only been on one short ride on the tandem. That will have to change too. With Emily and kids coming this week I am sure they will bring good weather with them. Amy and Pyper can bring some of their weather too!

He Is Risen

Our Savior is the Rock of our Salvation
These goldfish are looking forward to Spring if and when it comes

Grandma watching General Conference

We live in a beautiful world. Even though we woke up to several inches of snow on the ground, it was beautiful. The sun is now shining, the snow is melting and it will be a beautiful spring Easter Sunday.

We have the opportunity to listen to prophets' voices today. It is a wonderful world in which we can have the technology to listen and watch on TV, Internet, and radio. When we were young we would have to make special plans to go to a chapel and listen to conference on a poor audio connection which was difficult to hear with all the kids around us complaining and crying. They were good times too as we had the opportunity to share the special experience with our neighbors and friends who were in our same situation. We had pot luck dinners and fun times between sessions. I hope we all take the time not only to watch and listen today but to read the talks later when we have the opportunity. It has been my experience that when I do that I recieve again the wonderful feelings of testimony and resolve that I had when I first listened to them. I also found that that I received new promptings that have blessed my life.

I hope that his day we remember The Savior. The atonement is the single most important event in the history of this world. Through his suffering for us we all have the blessing of the ressurrection, and the possiblility of returning to our Father in Heaven. I hope we all conduct our lives so that we may obtain that blessing. My most valued possession is my family. I can only hope that when this life is through we have the blessing and opportunity of being a family unit once again.

Remember who you are and what you stand for!!!!

Record keeping

I am sitting here in front of a very warm fireplace with the woman that I have loved for almost 39 years. We have been going over some geneological information on the family. As I was looking for some information on my mom to put into the LDS family search site I marveled at the amount of information that I have about my family. It is interesting to see how much work my ancestors went through to make sure we knew who they were. I have some very interesting and heart warming stories about my ancestors. It has made me pretty sheepish. Every year I determine to begin a personal history or at least keep a jounal. I have yet to do it consistently. When I think that I don't have a history of my own parents I am sorry that I don't know enough about them to share an accurate story of my parents life. I know a lot, but I don't know a lot of facts that tie everything together. I am thinking I need to talk to what is left of my parents siblings to get some of that information. Sadly some of it is lost forever. Now as I think of my own life I sadly don't have a real accurate rememberance of some of the specifics of my own life. Mom is a great source because she has been diligent in keeping a journal of her life. It's good know she can refer to that when we need some of the specific information we need.
I guess what I am saying today is that we need to keep records not only for ourselves, but for our children and grandchildren. They will have a great interest in who we are, what we did, and why we are who we are. I am making a committment to do better. I don't know how I am going to do it but I am going to try.