Enduring

I had the best day yesterday (Saturday). I didn't have to go to radiation; I had a good nights sleep and had good energy all day. I even got to go to my Grandson Owen's first birthday party then after I got home watched a Harry Potter movie with Abe and Dallin. I wish every day were like that, but I realize they won't be like that all the time. My life now revolves around my treatment schedule. I have had 14 radiation treatments. Monday I will be half way done. I still haven't lost much hair although I shave it everyday (it makes it easier to apply lotion or other treatments to my tender head). I will lose it permanently everywhere the radiation enters and exits my head so I will have a splotchy head. Get used to a shaved Paul. Roma is even getting used to the look although she started crying last night when looking a pre-surgery picture of me.

I am rambling so I will get to what I am thinking about this morning. I am not a very patient person. I want to know the end from the beginning with time frames. I want to know if I will be here for the completion of the Harry Potter movies or the release of the Hobbit on film. (Both unimportant events) I want to know if BYU stays in the MWC or gets invited to the Big 12. I want to know if I will be around for my next grandchild's birth or the baptism of the 2 grandkids who will turn 8 next year. I want to know lots of things and I don't. I can't even know if my treatments are working for a month after they are finished. I think that is part of the Lord's plan. He wants to know if we are in the game until the end no matter when that is. As a people we want to know when things are going to happen. It is human nature but God operates on his eternal time frame. He has a plan for us and oftentimes it isn't for us to know. This life is a time to prove to him that we are in it for the long haul. I believe I am and I am confident God will let me stay long enough to complete what he wants me to accomplish while here. I just hope and pray I can endure to the end; to fight the good fight; to prove to my Heavenly Father that I am worthy to return to him when this life ends.