Why can't I sleep?

This is Shae. She is my second oldest Grand daughter. She is a sweetheart. She is my most honest grandchild. Whenever I get proud she lets me know where I stand. When I told her I was getting speech therapy she thought that was okay (I need it) and then told her mom that she didn't want to talk like Grandpa. (and I thought I was making such progress!)

It is 4:00 AM and I have been awake for almost 2 hours now. I can't figure it out. The radiation therapy is supposed to make me tired and it does. I go around each day barely able to be on my feet for minutes at a time, but almost every night my mind awakes at 4 or so and I can't go back to sleep. I am not complaining. This is still a quiet time and I spend my time reflecting on my circumstances and blessings.

I am still am impatient man and I have a hard time submitting myself to the Lord's will. I have been told that my brain cancer will eventually kill me, but that is not good enough. I want to know when that is. It is driving me nuts to not be in control and yet it is humbling me. I find myself more and more turning to the Lord for comfort and peace and He gives it to me. In our family prayers Roma and I have been inspired to pray not for blessings for us, but to thank the Lord for blessings already received or promised and for blessings for other people. When we do that the Lord showers us with peace and further multiplies our blessings.

We need to believe Christ. Believe that through his atonement we all receive the gift of the resurrection and if we endure to the end eternal life with our families and ourFather in Heaven. I do believe that.

Enough preaching. I have only 4 radiation sessions left counting today. Next Tuesday I will graduate from radiology. I get a month off chemo and when I start back up it will only be for 5 days a month. It will take me a few weeks to regain my strength back but I will at least be on the upswing. My family has a few fun things to do this fall so I am looking forward to those events already. Life is good! I mean that!!